My earliest memory is that of a little girl about three years old being sexually abused by my oldest brother, a guy who is about 15 years older than me.
The early years of my life are filled with sex. I lose my virginity when I am about eight years old, and things really go downhill from there. By age 15 I am pregnant with my first daughter, believing that I am in love with her father, but do I really know what love is?
My first daughter is born, and within three months I am pregnant again. I am sure that my mother will kill me if she finds out, so I get an abortion. In one day I fly from Ohio to New York, get the abortion and fly back to Ohio, without my mother ever knowing I left. I am only 16 at the time.
I get married to a different guy by the time I am 17. I graduate high school with two kids and one on the way. My life is filled with guilt and despair. By 19 I am married with three children and I don’t really love my husband. I am still in love my first daughter’s father. My husband and I divorce after seven years, but during these years I meet and fall in love with Jesus!
My life even after the divorce is changing for the good. I meet and marry my now husband of 30 years. We adopt four more kids.
But the guilt about the abortion is still there.
The guilt stays with me for decades.
It isn’t until I meet our current pastor that I learn about being truly free in Christ.
Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.
John 8:36
I am totally guilt free thanks to Jesus Christ!
–K
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